Strangest or most unusual requests a member of help desk or technical support team has ever received?

It seems like many common problems reported to the Help Desk can be fixed without calling the Help Desk. This is funny and hard to beleive that there are still technically ignorant people in this world, a world which eats and breathes technology.

As per a recent survey developed and carried by Robert Half Technology, apprx 1400 business CIOs were asked, “What is the strangest or most unusual request you or a member of your help desk or technical support team has ever received?” Their responses included:

“Why isn’t my wireless mouse connected to the computer?”
“My laptop was run over by a truck. What should I do?”
“Can you rearrange the keyboard alphabetically?”
“How do I read my e-mail?”
“My computer is telling me to press any key to continue. Where is the ‘any’ key?”
“Can you reset the Internet for me?”
“There are animal crackers in my CD-ROM drive.”
“Can you build me a robot?”

Some end users called to report problems with mice — not the electronic kind — and other pests.

“Can you get the mice out of the ceiling?”
“A server went down, and I found a lizard had crawled into it and died.”
“A skunk ate my cable.”

Other requests signal more trouble than just a technical glitch. Here are some examples:

“How can I block e-mail from my manager?”
“Can I open the bank safe using my computer?”
“Can you install cable TV on my PC?”
“Can you order joysticks so that we can play video games?”
“I’d like to stop receiving e-mail on Fridays.”

Help desk professionals are known for lending a hand, but these end users took the concept too far:

“Can you come and install my car stereo?”
“Where can I locate dry ice?”
“I’d like wireless computer access in my motor home.”
“Can you fix my typewriter?”
“How long does it take to bake a potato in a microwave?”
“My daughter is locked in the bathroom, can you pick the lock?”
“Can you tell me the weather forecast for next year?”
“The elevator is broken.”
“How do I wire a robotic turkey?”
“Where can I get software to track UFOs?”
“Can you repair my motorbike?”

Beyond the comic relief these out-of-the-blue requests can provide, they also serve as a test of essential help desk and technical support skills, according to Katherine Spencer Lee, executive director of Robert Half Technology. “These unusual requests highlight the need for technical support personnel to also demonstrate patience, empathy and a sense of humor,” she said.

About the Survey
The national survey was developed by Robert Half Technology, a leading provider of information technology professionals on a project and full-time basis, and conducted by an independent research firm. The survey is based on more than 1,400 telephone interviews with CIOs from a random sample of U.S. companies with 100 or more employees. In order for the survey to be statistically representative and ensure that companies from all segments were represented, the sample was stratified by geographic region, industry and number of employees. The results were then weighted to reflect the proper proportions of the number of employees within each region.

Yahoo Web Analytics goes FREE (Best web analytics tool so far for your Wordpress BLOG)

Yahoo Web Analytics is the result of Yahoo’s acquisition of IndexTools back in early April, a web analytics software provider geared toward online marketing. Yahoo Web Analytics boasts “near real time” data aggregation and visualization, which will be a significant leg up on Google Analytics’ typical 8 to 12 hour turnaround time.

Yahoo! currently intends to provide the IndexTools Web Analytics service FREE of charge to clients and partners who accept the standard Yahoo! agreement.

There are 2 main options when it comes to tracking using Yahoo Web Analytics -

First is the more traditional conversion tracking analytics. Or what Yahoo refers to as “Conversion Only Analytics”.

Just like we are all doing already, pay-per-click advertisers can place a java script tag (Conversion Tag) onto their confirmation page to help track form completions or shopping cart purchases. This conversion information can then be used to help avertsiers optimize the performance of their ads.

And the second option - is a newly released anaytics functionality called ‘Full Analytics’.

Full Analytics allows advertisers to take a deeper look into their online sales funnel by showing them the full path of their visitors from start to finish. Rather than simply relying on just a conversion tag to provide visitor data, advertisers can now place up to three different tags on their pages to help aid in visitor analysis.

The three new tags consists of a ‘Universal Tag’ and two Event tags. Event tags are broken down into a ‘Prospect Tag’ and a ‘Conversion Tag’.

The ‘Universal Tag’ is used to track your visitors from page to page (visitor path). It is used on each page that the advertiser wants tracked.

The Event tags are used to record events that happen on your web site (ex. form completions or purchases). With event tags, the advertiser has the option to track up to 5 different events.

The ‘Prospect Tag’ is used to indicate a visitor’s intent to transact. For example on a checkout or signup form page, a Prospect Tag would be used.

The ‘Conversion Tag’ is used to monitor that a visitor has completed a transaction. This tag of course is similar to the Conversion Only option that is mentioned above. The Conversion tag is placed on a purchase or form completion (confirmation/thank-you) page.

Once an advertiser tags their pages with these three pieces of code, they are now armed with the ability to view a full conversion funnel. The full funnel includes data on Leads, Browsers, Prospects, and Conversions.

Lead: A visitor who arrives at the advertier’s landing page after clicking on their ad (tracked with Universal Tag).
Browser: A visitor who views more than one page (also tracked with a Universal Tag)
Prospect: A visitor who reaches an “intent to buy” page (tracked with a Prospect Tag)
Conversion: A visitor who reaches a call to action page (tracked with a Conversion Tag)

Together with the data that is already tracked through the advertiser’s campaign, the advertiser can now view Impressions -> Clicks -> Leads -> Browsers -> Prospects -> Conversions

On a side note, the advertiser can also pass revenue and transaction IDs into their Conversion Tag. This information allows the advertiser to track data such as overall revenue, ‘return on ad spend’, and individual transactions within the same visitor session.

In conclusion, ‘Full Analytics’ is going to give an advertiser much more insight about their visitors beyond just plain old conversion tracking. With more insight about their visitors, advertisers can make better decisions about how they go about optimizing their ads.

The better advertisers optimize their ads, the more relevant those ads will be. The more relevant those ads are, the better the chance that those ads will be ranked in a higher position (based on Yahoo’s new ad ranking formulas). The higher those ads are ranked, the more traffic they will receive.

Yahoo - Full Analytics Overview

World’s highest resolution commercial satellite sponsored by Google

The bird’s eye view of Kutztown University in Pennsylvania was the first image ever seen by the GeoEye-1, the world’s highest-resolution commercial satellite sponsored by Google, when it opened its camera door earlier this week. Google’s logo was embedded on the rocket that took the satellite to its orbit. Google has signed a contract making it the exclusive online mapping site to use the satellite’s photos, which will appear in both Google Maps and Google Earth.

Google’s partnership with GeoEye is exclusive, meaning the search-engine giant will be the only online mapping site using the satellite’s photos.

The 4,300-pound satellite collected the image at noon EDT on Oct. 7 while moving from the north pole to the south pole in a 423-mile-high orbit at 17,000 miles per hour, or 4.5 miles per second. The spacecraft can take photos at a resolution of up to 41 cm — close enough to zoom in on the home plate of a baseball diamond, according to Mark Brender, GeoEye’s vice president of communications and marketing.

Even though the GeoEye-1 satellite sports a colorful Google sticker, its key customer is actually not Google but rather the National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency, a U.S. government agency that analyzes imagery in support of national security. The NGA is paying for half of the development of the $502 million satellite and has committed to purchasing imagery from it. Google is GeoEye’s second major partner. Because of a deal GeoEye has already signed with the U.S. government, Google will only get data with a resolution of 50 centimeters, News.com reports.

“This is the opposite of a spy satellite,” Brender said in a phone interview. “Spies don’t put info on the internet and sell imagery. We’re an Earth-imaging satellite, and we can sell our imagery to customers around the world who have a need to map and measure and monitor things on the ground.”

A second satellite, GeoEye-2, slated to launch in 2011 or 2012, will have a resolution of 25cm, company representatives promised.

Way to go Google or rather we should probably say - ZOOM in Google.

Yahoo layoffs and increasing losses … Will Microsoft be able to acquire Yahoo by end of year 2009?

Internet giant Yahoo announced on Tuesday that it planned to lay off at least 10 percent of its workforce over the next few months as sales declined for the third consecutive quarter this year.

At least 1,500 employees will lose their jobs as part of Yahoo’s cost-saving plan, which Yahoo hoped would reduce costs by 400 million U.S. dollars a year.

RSS pioneer Dave Winer wonders aloud about Yahoo’s 1,000-person layoff this week, which has resulted in a number of key managers and technologists being axed from the company.

Winer blogged:

Why would Yahoo want to self-inflict more doubt about its future at this moment where doubt is its worst problem? …. When tech companies are acquired the people are the primary asset.

“You gotta wonder what Microsoft thinks about this. Maybe it’s the ultimate poison pill. Let’s get rid of the talent that Microsoft wants to acquire. Of course that’s a poison pill that would surely kill the patient.”

Dare Obasanjo, program manager with the Windows Live Platform group, itemizes some of the big-name Yahoo layoff casualties. Among those cut, Obasanjo blogged: Bradley Horowitz, who headed Yahoo’s advanced technology division ; Salim Ismail, the director of Yahoo’s incubation wing; and Randy Farmer, one of the main architect’s of Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang’s “comeback plan.”

Well, with Yahoo’s cost cutting continuing and its heavy losses, do you think Microsoft will be able to take over Yahoo by the end of 2009?? Please leave your comments / views on this post for our regular readers.

What will really happen if Microsoft is ever able to buy Yahoo though, lets see …

Yahoo and MSN will finally give Google a run for its money when it comes to search. Google owns 57 percent of the search engine market, and Yahoo and Microsoft own together 34 percent, according to Search Engine Watch. Given the combined search knowhow of Microsoft and Yahoo we’d like to see both breathe some new life into search technology. Yahoo already has someinteresting tools such as Search Assistant and Shortcutsthat can make searching easier than Google. Check out Microsoft’s Live Search Clubt o see how Live Search is getting smarter. Together we’d like to see Microsoft and Yahoo make search results more relevant and smarter.

Microsoft and Yahoo combined would have a dynamite mobile offering without much heavy lifting. We’d like to see a marriage of Microsoft’s Windows Mobile operating system and its mobile business focus merged with Yahoo.We love Yahoo’s mobile offeringsand its mobile search, maps, and email. Yahoo already has close ties to mobile carriers so it might not take long for the strengths of both mobile teams to trickle down to our cell phones.

If the mobile offerings from Microhoo (Microsoft + Yahoo) are too strong, they could strangle Google’s Android mobile operating system. And that would be a shame, since the open source effort promises users a more customizable phone than they’ve ever had. Given Microsoft’s industry clout and its cutthroat competitive spirit and Yahoo’s cozy relationship with carriers, Google’s Android platform could be in for a big fight.

And here is the best one - I have read this on one of the web channels, sorry dont remember the name now -

The deal could be the birth of Web 3.0 and not at all because of the companies involved, but rather, in spite of them. Obviously, a merger would mean significant job cuts. Who’s to say that the next Google isn’t the brainchild of one of those let go? Of course there’d be dead wood out there, but there will also be a lot of great creative minds that’ll get working on the next best thing. And the increased competition will give Microsoft something else to worry about besides Vista.

Does ailing US economy need more cash? … New face of US dollar bill.

Ben Bernanke told a group of U.S. representatives that Congress should look closely at passing a new stimulus package as a way of restoring confidence in the nearly moribund world banking system.

“With the economy likely to be weak for several quarters, and with some risk of a protracted slowdown, consideration of a fiscal package by the Congress at this juncture seems appropriate,” Bernanke said in testimony before the House budget committee on Monday.

Congress currently is looking at whether to use more taxpayers’ money to help out ailing banks and other financial institutions, perhaps as much as $150 billion US, according to some reports.

So far, Congress has ponied up $700 billion in fiscal assistance to buy back almost-worthless mortgage-backed securities and invest directly in bank stocks.

Still, “we are in a serious slowdown,” Bernanke said in response to a committee question.

As per the following chart taken from U.S. Department of Labor website, United States economy is in serious trouble. And as world economy is affected by U.S. economy, most of our investments including overseas investments if any are in trouble, my suggestion - hold on to what you have, dont sell any of your investments, wait for better times (I am no economist but at least that is what I am doing).

United States Monhtly Data - Click to enlarge.  (Source - U.S. Department of Labor website)

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